Parenting

Parenting is a rewarding experience that doesn’t come without its difficulties. Growing up, children may experience parenting in the form of different familial arrangements such as two-parent, single-parent, co-parent, blended, or joint families. 

No matter the household arrangement, each form of parenting has its unique struggles which can affect parents and children alike. 

Challenges of Parenting 

Even the best of parents can falter. No amount of parenting guides can give you the hands-on experience that comes with the trial and error of raising children yourself. Here are some of the most common challenges of parenting:

Financial Stress

Whether it’s moving to a better house, affording standard schooling, or buying your child everything in the book, parenting can exert a considerable financial burden. This is especially true for single parents. Being the sole parent carries the heavy responsibility of fulfilling your children’s needs all on your own, which is not easy.

Conflict Between Family and Work

Children require a lot of care and attention, especially in their formative years. This is when relationships with their caregivers play a huge role in their development

Working parents (especially mothers) may find it harder to juggle professional life if they lack external support for childcare. On the other hand, parents may be overwhelmed by work pressure and find it difficult to make time for their children. 

Compromised Alone Time

A child’s early years demand the most effort and attention from their primary caregiver. This may leave parents with little to no quiet time for themselves. Devoting all their time and energy to parenting could deprive them of the chance to socialize, engage in hobbies, and even simply relax. 

Negative Relationship Health

With the endless responsibilities of childcare on both parents, some aspects of a relationship are bound to change. This could include matters relating to sex and intimacy, as well as getting a chance to spend quality time together. This can cause a disconnect between partners and affect relationship satisfaction.

Conflict of Interest with Children

No parent-child relationship is free of conflict. Whether it’s your toddler throwing tantrums and addictively using gadgets, or a teenager who lies or engages in disallowed behaviours, every stage of parenting comes with its unique challenges. You might even start to feel that you constantly have to engage in a battle of wills with your child.

Dealing with Judgment 

As a parent, one of the most unpleasant things you can experience is outside judgment about your child’s behaviour or your parenting skills. This can come from within the family, your friends, or your child’s teachers, leading to feelings of inadequacy and a lack of confidence in your ability to be a good parent. 

Guilt & Low Self-Esteem

Sometimes, despite everything you do, you might doubt your parenting skills. This is especially common among single parents who may feel that they’re unable to fulfil their children’s needs due to a lack of resources or other self-perceived weaknesses. This can lead to feelings of guilt and low self-esteem. 

Resentment Against Co-Parent

Sometimes, a parent may use their child as an avenue to vent out frustrations against their partner. This can happen in families where both partners aren’t satisfied with each other and in divorced families. 

Badmouthing the other parent, trying to turn the child against one parent, and engaging in competition for the child’s affection can seriously sabotage your child’s mental health and give them undue distress. Children should not be used as channels for adult resentment.

Disagreements

It’s common for partners and ex-partners to disagree about several aspects of parenting. Each parent wants the best for their child. However, if they’re fundamentally opposed and unable to reach a compromise, this can lead to conflict and resentment. 

Using Children to Fulfill Emotional Needs

Sometimes, parents may cling to their children as a source of emotional comfort and support, especially if it’s lacking from other ends. This is mostly true of single-parent families and may lead to unhealthy attachment with the child. It could also cause the child to feel emotionally burdened with the task of fulfilling the emotional needs of their parent(s).

Resentment Against Children

Parents can sometimes end up blaming their children for the emotions they feel. Whether it’s guilt, external pressure, or feeling trapped, a parent may develop resentment for their child. This can lead to outbursts, abusive parenting, and even neglect. This is something that needs to be addressed immediately. 

Parenting is not an easy task and demands a lot of energy and patience. If any of these parenting challenges resonate with you, or someone that you know, it’s time to ask for help.

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